Author name: DJ Henderson

on-cusp-of-storm-season,-noaa-funding-cuts-put-hurricane-forecasting-at-risk

On cusp of storm season, NOAA funding cuts put hurricane forecasting at risk


Tropical cyclone track forecasts are 75 percent more accurate than they were in 1990.

The National Hurricane Center’s forecasts in 2024 were its most accurate on record, from its one-day forecasts, as tropical cyclones neared the coast, to its forecasts five days into the future, when storms were only beginning to come together.

Thanks to federally funded research, forecasts of tropical cyclone tracks today are up to 75 percent more accurate than they were in 1990. A National Hurricane Center forecast three days out today is about as accurate as a one-day forecast in 2002, giving people in the storm’s path more time to prepare and reducing the size of evacuations.

Accuracy will be crucial again in 2025, as meteorologists predict another active Atlantic hurricane season, which runs from June 1 to November 30.

Yet, cuts in staffing and threats to funding at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration—which includes the National Hurricane Center and National Weather Service—are diminishing operations that forecasters rely on.

error trend for Atlantic Basin for 1990-2024

National Hurricane Center Official Track Error Trend for the Atlantic Basin between 1990 and 2024.

Credit: National Hurricane Center

National Hurricane Center Official Track Error Trend for the Atlantic Basin between 1990 and 2024. Credit: National Hurricane Center

I am a meteorologist who studies lightning in hurricanes and helps train other meteorologists to monitor and forecast tropical cyclones. Here are three of the essential components of weather forecasting that have been targeted for cuts to funding and staff at NOAA.

Tracking the wind

To understand how a hurricane is likely to behave, forecasters need to know what’s going on in the atmosphere far from the Atlantic and Gulf coasts.

Hurricanes are steered by the winds around them. Wind patterns detected today over the Rocky Mountains and Great Plains—places like Colorado, Wyoming, Nebraska, and South Dakota—give forecasters clues to the winds that will be likely along the Gulf and Atlantic coasts in the days ahead.

Satellites can’t take direct measurements, so to measure these winds, scientists rely on weather balloons. That data is essential both for forecasts and to calibrate the complicated formulas forecasters use to make estimates from satellite data.

Weather balloon launch

A meteorologist prepares to launch a weather balloon at Mammoth Hot Springs, Wyo. Data collected by the balloon’s radiosonde will help predict local weather that can influence fire behavior.

Credit: Neal Herbert/National Park Service

A meteorologist prepares to launch a weather balloon at Mammoth Hot Springs, Wyo. Data collected by the balloon’s radiosonde will help predict local weather that can influence fire behavior. Credit: Neal Herbert/National Park Service

However, in early 2025, the Trump administration terminated or suspended weather balloon launches at more than a dozen locations.

That move and other cuts and threatened cuts at NOAA have raised red flags for forecasters across the country and around the world.

Forecasters everywhere, from TV to private companies, rely on NOAA’s data to do their jobs. Much of that data would be extremely expensive if not impossible to replicate.

Under normal circumstances, weather balloons are released from around 900 locations around the world at 8 am and 8 pm Eastern time every day. While the loss of just 12 of these profiles may not seem significant, small amounts of missing data can lead to big forecast errors. This is an example of chaos theory, more popularly known as the butterfly effect.

The balloons carry a small instrument called a radiosonde, which records data as it rises from the surface of the Earth to around 120,000 feet above ground. The radiosonde acts like an all-in-one weather station, beaming back details of the temperature, relative humidity, wind speed and direction, and air pressure every 15 feet through its flight.

Together, all these measurements help meteorologists interpret the atmosphere overhead and feed into computer models used to help forecast weather around the country, including hurricanes.

Hurricane Hunters

For more than 80 years, scientists have been flying planes into hurricanes to measure each storm’s strength and help forecast its path and potential for damage.

Known as “Hurricane Hunters,” these crews from the US Air Force Reserve and NOAA routinely conduct reconnaissance missions throughout hurricane season using a variety of instruments. Similar to weather balloons, these flights are making measurements that satellites can’t.

Hurricane Hunters use Doppler radar to gauge how the wind is blowing and LiDAR to measure temperature and humidity changes. They drop probes to measure the ocean temperature down several hundred feet to tell how much warm water might be there to fuel the storm.

illustration showing hurricane season missions flown by NOAA

A summary of 2024 Atlantic hurricane season missions flown by NOAA Hurricane Hunters shows the types of equipment used.

Credit: Atlantic Oceanographic and Meteorological Laboratory

A summary of 2024 Atlantic hurricane season missions flown by NOAA Hurricane Hunters shows the types of equipment used. Credit: Atlantic Oceanographic and Meteorological Laboratory

They also release 20 to 30 dropsondes, measuring devices with parachutes. As the dropsondes fall through the storm, they transmit data about the temperature, humidity, wind speed and direction, and air pressure every 15 feet or so from the plane to the ocean.

Dropsondes from Hurricane Hunter flights are the only way to directly measure what is occurring inside the storm. Although satellites and radars can see inside hurricanes, these are indirect measurements that do not have the fine-scale resolution of dropsonde data.

That data tells National Hurricane Center forecasters how intense the storm is and whether the atmosphere around the storm is favorable for strengthening. Dropsonde data also helps computer models forecast the track and intensity of storms days into the future.

Two NOAA Hurricane Hunter flight directors were laid off in February 2025, leaving only six, when 10 are preferred. Directors are the flight meteorologists aboard each flight who oversee operations and ensure the planes stay away from the most dangerous conditions.

Having fewer directors limits the number of flights that can be sent out during busy times when Hurricane Hunters are monitoring multiple storms. And that would limit the accurate data the National Hurricane Center would have for forecasting storms.

Eyes in the sky

Weather satellites that monitor tropical storms from space provide continuous views of each storm’s track and intensity changes. The equipment on these satellites and software used to analyze it make increasingly accurate hurricane forecasts possible. Much of that equipment is developed by federally funded researchers.

For example, the Cooperative Institutes in Wisconsin and Colorado have developed software and methods that help meteorologists better understand the current state of tropical cyclones and forecast future intensity when aircraft reconnaissance isn’t immediately available.

Picture of weather satellite

The Jason 3 satellite, illustrated here, is one of several satellites NOAA uses during hurricane season. The satellite is a partnership among NOAA, NASA, and their European counterparts.

Credit: NOAA

The Jason 3 satellite, illustrated here, is one of several satellites NOAA uses during hurricane season. The satellite is a partnership among NOAA, NASA, and their European counterparts. Credit: NOAA

Forecasting rapid intensification is one of the great challenges for hurricane scientists. It’s the dangerous shift when a tropical cyclone’s wind speeds jump by at least 35 mph (56 kilometers per hour) in 24 hours.

For example, in 2018, Hurricane Michael’s rapid intensification caught the Florida Panhandle by surprise. The Category 5 storm caused billions of dollars in damage across the region, including at Tyndall Air Force Base, where several F-22 Stealth Fighters were still in hangars.

Under the federal budget proposal details released so far, including a draft of agencies’ budget plans marked up by Trump’s Office of Management and Budget, known as the passback, there is no funding for Cooperative Institutes. There is also no funding for aircraft recapitalization. A 2022 NOAA plan sought to purchase up to six new aircraft that would be used by Hurricane Hunters.

The passback budget also cut funding for some technology from future satellites, including lightning mappers that are used in hurricane intensity forecasting and to warn airplanes of risks.

It only takes one

Tropical storms and hurricanes can have devastating effects, as Hurricanes Helene and Milton reminded the country in 2024. These storms, while well forecast, resulted in billions of dollars of damage and hundreds of fatalities.

The US has been facing more intense storms, and the coastal population and value of property in harm’s way are growing. As five former directors of the National Weather Service wrote in an open letter, cutting funding and staff from NOAA’s work that is improving forecasting and warnings ultimately threatens to leave more lives at risk.

Chris Vagasky is Meteorologist and Research Program Manager at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

Photo of The Conversation

The Conversation is an independent source of news and views, sourced from the academic and research community. Our team of editors work with these experts to share their knowledge with the wider public. Our aim is to allow for better understanding of current affairs and complex issues, and hopefully improve the quality of public discourse on them.

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DOJ confirms it wants to break up Google’s ad business

In the trial, Google will paint this demand as a severe overreach, claiming that few, if any, companies would have the resources to purchase and run the products. Last year, an ad consultant estimated Google’s ad empire could be worth up to $95 billion, quite possibly too big to sell. However, Google was similarly skeptical about Chrome, and representatives from other companies have said throughout the search remedy trial that they would love to buy Google’s browser.

An uphill battle

After losing three antitrust cases in just a couple of years, Google will have a hard time convincing the judge it is capable of turning over a new leaf with light remedies. A DOJ lawyer told the court Google is a “recidivist monopolist” that has a pattern of skirting its legal obligations. Still, Google is looking for mercy in the case. We expect to get more details on Google’s proposed remedies as the next trial nears, but it already offered a preview in today’s hearing.

Google suggests making a smaller subset of ad data available and ending the use of some pricing schemes, including unified pricing, that the court has found to be anticompetitive. Google also promised not to re-implement discontinued practices like “last look,” which gave the company a chance to outbid rivals at the last moment. This was featured prominently in the DOJ’s case, although Google ended the practice several years ago.

To ensure it adheres to the remedies, Google suggested a court-appointed monitor would audit the process. However, Brinkema seemed unimpressed with this proposal.

As in its other cases, Google says it plans to appeal the verdict, but before it can do that, the remedies phase has to be completed. Even if it can get the remedies paused for appeal, the decision could be a blow to investor confidence. So, Google will do whatever it can to avoid the worst-case scenario, leaning on the existence of competing advertisers like Meta and TikTok to show that the market is still competitive.

Like the search case, Google won’t be facing any big developments over the summer, but this fall could be rough. Judge Amit Mehta will most likely rule on the search remedies in August, and the ad tech remedies case will begin the following month. Google also has the Play Store case hanging over its head. It lost the first round, but the company hopes to prevail on appeal when the case gets underway again, probably in late 2025.

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Eric Schmidt apparently bought Relativity Space to put data centers in orbit

“This probably helps explain why Schmidt bought Relativity Space,” I commented on the social media site X after Schmidt’s remarks. A day later, Schmidt replied with a single word, “Yes.”

There are relatively few US launch companies that either have large rockets or are developing them. The options for a would-be space entrepreneur who wants to control their own access to space are limited. SpaceX and Blue Origin are already owned by billionaires who have total decision-making authority. United Launch Alliance’s Vulcan rocket is expensive, and its existing manifest is long already. Rocket Lab’s Neutron vehicle is coming soon, but it may not be large enough for Schmidt’s ambitions.

That leaves Relativity Space, which may be within a couple of years of flying the partially reusable Terran R rocket. If fully realized, Terran R would be a beastly launch vehicle capable of launching 33.5 metric tons to low-Earth orbit in expendable mode—more than a fully upgraded Vulcan Centaur—and 23.5 tons with a reusable first stage. If you were a billionaire seeking to put large data centers into space and wanted control of launch, Relativity is probably the only game in town.

As Ars has previously reported, there are some considerable flaws with Relativity’s approach to developing Terran R. However, these problems can be fixed with additional money, and Schmidt has brought that to the company over the last half-year.

Big problems, big ideas

Schmidt does not possess the wealth of an Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos. His personal fortune is roughly $20 billion, so approximately an order of magnitude less. This explains why, according to financial industry sources, Schmidt is presently seeking additional partners to bankroll a revitalized Relativity.

Solving launch is just one of the challenges this idea faces, of course. How big would these data centers be? Where would they go within an increasingly cluttered low-Earth orbit? Could space-based solar power meet their energy needs? Can all of this heat be radiated away efficiently in space? Economically, would any of this make sense?

These are not simple questions. But Schmidt is correct that the current trajectory of power and environmental demands created by AI data centers is unsustainable. It is good that someone is thinking big about solving big problems.

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meet-the-winners-of-the-2025-dance-your-phd-contest

Meet the winners of the 2025 Dance Your PhD contest

Sulo Roukka is this year’s overall winner of the Dance Your PhD contest, plus the winner of the chemistry category.

It’s time again to honor the winners of the annual Dance Your PhD contest, where eager young scientists attempt to convey the concepts of their doctoral theses through dance. This year’s overall winner is the University of Helsinki’s Sulo Roukka, who researches chemesthesis, specifically how people experience different sensory food compounds like capsaicin (hot) or menthol (cool).

As we’ve reported previously, the Dance Your PhD contest was established in 2008 by science journalist John Bohannon, who is now a data scientist at South Park Commons. Bohannon told Slate in 2011 that he came up with the idea while trying to figure out how to get a group of stressed-out PhD students, who were in the middle of defending their theses, to let off a little steam. So he put together a dance party at Austria’s Institute of Molecular Biotechnology, including a contest for whichever candidate could best explain their thesis topics through interpretive dance.

The contest was such a hit that Bohannon started getting emails asking when the next one would be—and Dance Your PhD has continued ever since. It’s now in its 17th year. There are four broad categories: physics, chemistry, biology, and social science, with a fairly liberal interpretation of what topics fall under each. All category winners receive $750. Roukka won the chemistry category and, as the overall champion, will receive an additional $2,750.

This year’s sponsor is Sandbox AQ, an AI company specializing in large quantitative models. The 2025 competition also included a special $750 prize for dances related to AI and quantum science, won by Arfor Houwman of the University of Innsbruck for his dance video explaining the physics of laser cooling and ultracold atoms. Bohannon noted that the winners were all European scientists. “This year, American scientists did not seem to be in the mood to dance,” he told Science. “Lucky for the world, Europe’s scientists have doubled their creativity and enthusiasm.”

Meet the winners of the 2025 Dance Your PhD contest Read More »

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Nintendo imposes new limits on sharing for digital Switch games

A March video explaining the new Virtual Game Card system that launched via system update today.

While that old system could be cumbersome to set up, it actually allowed for quite a bit of flexibility when it came to game sharing. As Nintendo noted on its official FAQ as recently as last week, two users could play a single digital game purchase at the same time, as long as the Nintendo Account that purchased the game was playing on the secondary console (with an active Internet connection).

But Nintendo’s FAQ explanation for “how to play the same digital game at the same time with different Nintendo accounts” has been removed from the current version of Nintendo’s Switch digital game sharing FAQ. In its place is a link to a new page detailing the Virtual Game Card system. While the new FAQ also discusses the Online License feature for sharing games “even if you don’t have a virtual game card loaded,” there is no longer any discussion of how to access a single digital game on two consoles simultaneously.

Ars’ own testing confirms that trying to load a digital game while another Switch is actively playing the same game results in a “play is being suspended” error on one console. This seems to be true even if one console has a loaded Virtual Game Card for the game being played and even if the consoles use different Nintendo Accounts from the same family group.

Players can simultaneously play different games from the same digital library on two different Switch systems, but only if at least one of those games is on a loaded Virtual Game Card.

A partial workaround

Players who want to play a single digital game purchased across multiple Switch consoles simultaneously can still use a partial workaround. A Switch console with a Virtual Game Card currently loaded should be set to Airplane mode (or have Wi-Fi disabled), and the user’s Online License feature should be enabled for the game’s original purchaser. The first system will still be able to play that Virtual Game Card offline, while the Online License feature will allow the same game to be played at the same time on a second system.

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After convincing senators he supports Artemis, Isaacman nomination advances

The US Senate Commerce Committee on Wednesday advanced the nomination of private astronaut and businessman Jared Isaacman as the next administrator of NASA to the Senate floor, setting up the final step before he is confirmed.

The vote was not unanimous, at 19–9, with all of the nay votes coming from senators on the Democratic side of the aisle.

However, some key Democrats voted in favor of Isaacman, including the ranking member of the committee, Maria Cantwell, D-Wash. Before the vote, Cantwell said she appreciated that a candidate like Isaacman, with his background in business and private spaceflight, could bring new ideas and energy to the space agency.

Committing to Artemis

Cantwell and the committee chair, Texas Republican Ted Cruz, both emphasized that their support for Isaacman was based on his public support for the Artemis Program to return humans to the Moon.

“A commitment to keeping on with the Moon mission is the key requirement we have to have in this position,” Cantwell said. “While it’s not clear to me where the Trump administration ultimately will end up on the NASA budget, and I have concerns about some of their proposed cuts today, Mr. Isaacman seems to be committed to the current plan. I think this is a very big competitive issue for the United States of America. That competitiveness is not just a goal; it’s a reality that we may some day wake up and find ourselves falling behind.”

This sets up what is likely to be one of the fundamental tensions of the next several years of US space policy. President Trump has expressed his interest in sending humans to Mars, a goal that Isaacman also supports. But key officeholders in Congress have told Isaacman they expect the administration to also beat China back to the Moon with American astronauts and to establish a sustainable presence there.

After convincing senators he supports Artemis, Isaacman nomination advances Read More »

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Republicans want to tax EV drivers $200/year in new transport bill

WASHINGTON, DC—The House Transportation and Infrastructure Committee will meet today to discuss its proposed budget legislation, and there’s a doozy in there for drivers of electric vehicles and hybrids. As part of the Republican Party’s ongoing war against science and the environment under President Trump, committee chairperson Sam Graves (R-Mo.) has included some new annual fees that will cost all drivers some, but some drivers more.

Republicans plan to use the budget reconciliation process to pass this legislation, which is an expedited process that removes some of the US Senate’s ability to stall. They’re proposing a new annual federal motor vehicle registration fee, which state DMVs would have to collect and pass back to the federal government.

If it passes, all battery EVs would be subject to a new $200 tax. Hybrids—defined as vehicles that are propelled by both an electric motor and an internal combustion engine or other power source (which would include fuel cell EVs)—will pay $100. But someone who commutes 90 miles a day in a particulate-belching Ford F-350 Duramax diesel pickup truck gets away with a mere $20 a year, and only from October 1, 2030; until then they get to drive for free.

To make things even better, the bill requires these fees to be linked to inflation and should be increased each year, until 2034 when the tax expires for unelectrified vehicles, or 2035, the last year that EVs and hybrids would be taxed like this. So, a $200 registration fee in 2026 becomes a $250 registration fee in 2035.

Not everyone will have to pay, however. The bill exempts commercial vehicles, which should see a rush from tax avoiders to register their vehicles under their businesses, similar to what we saw during the George W. Bush administration, when a change in the tax law meant businesses could claim a $100,000 tax credit if they purchased a truck or SUV that weighed more than 6,000 lbs. Farm vehicles are also exempt from the law.

With EV adoption as low as it is in the US, the sums raised by these EV and hybrid charges will be essentially a rounding error in the federal budget, which this year should top $7 trillion. The Eno Center for Transportation calculates that this new tax will contribute an extra $110 billion to the highway Trust Fund by 2035 but that cuts to other taxes and more spending mean that the fund will still be $222 billion short of its commitments—assuming that this added fee doesn’t further dampen EV adoption in the US, that is.

Republicans want to tax EV drivers $200/year in new transport bill Read More »

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Redditor accidentally reinvents discarded ’90s tool to escape today’s age gates


The ’90s called. They want their flawed age verification methods back.

A boys head with a fingerprint revealing something unclear but perhaps evocative

Credit: Aurich Lawson | Getty Images

Credit: Aurich Lawson | Getty Images

Back in the mid-1990s, when The Net was among the top box office draws and Americans were just starting to flock online in droves, kids had to swipe their parents’ credit cards or find a fraudulent number online to access adult content on the web. But today’s kids—even in states with the strictest age verification laws—know they can just use Google.

Last month, a study analyzing the relative popularity of Google search terms found that age verification laws shift users’ search behavior. It’s impossible to tell if the shift represents young users attempting to circumvent the child-focused law or adult users who aren’t the actual target of the laws. But overall, enforcement causes nearly half of users to stop searching for popular adult sites complying with laws and instead search for a noncompliant rival (48 percent) or virtual private network (VPN) services (34 percent), which are used to mask a location and circumvent age checks on preferred sites, the study found.

“Individuals adapt primarily by moving to content providers that do not require age verification,” the study concluded.

Although the Google Trends data prevented researchers from analyzing trends by particular age groups, the findings help confirm critics’ fears that age verification laws “may be ineffective, potentially compromise user privacy, and could drive users toward less regulated, potentially more dangerous platforms,” the study said.

The authors warn that lawmakers are not relying enough on evidence-backed policy evaluations to truly understand the consequences of circumvention strategies before passing laws. Internet law expert Eric Goldman recently warned in an analysis of age-estimation tech available today that this situation creates a world in which some kids are likely to be harmed by the laws designed to protect them.

Goldman told Ars that all of the age check methods carry the same privacy and security flaws, concluding that technology alone can’t solve this age-old societal problem. And logic-defying laws that push for them could end up “dramatically” reshaping the Internet, he warned.

Zeve Sanderson, a co-author of the Google Trends study, told Ars that “if you’re a policymaker, in addition to being potentially nervous about the more dangerous content, it’s also about just benefiting a noncompliant firm.”

“You don’t want to create a regulatory environment where noncompliance is incentivized or they benefit in some way,” Sanderson said.

Sanderson’s study pointed out that search data is only part of the picture. Some users may be using VPNs and accessing adult sites through direct URLs rather than through search. Others may rely on social media to find adult content, a 2025 conference paper noted, “easily” bypassing age checks on the largest platforms. VPNs remain the most popular circumvention method, a 2024 article in the International Journal of Law, Ethics, and Technology confirmed, “and yet they tend to be ignored or overlooked by statutes despite their popularity.”

While kids are ducking age gates and likely putting their sensitive data at greater risk, adult backlash may be peaking over the red wave of age-gating laws already blocking adults from visiting popular porn sites in several states.

Some states started controversially requiring checking IDs to access adult content, which prompted Pornhub owner Aylo to swiftly block access to its sites in certain states. Pornhub instead advocates for device-based age verification, which it claims is a safer choice.

Aylo’s campaign has seemingly won over some states that either explicitly recommend device-based age checks or allow platforms to adopt whatever age check method they deem “reasonable.” Other methods could include app store-based age checks, algorithmic age estimation (based on a user’s web activity), face scans, or even tools that guess users’ ages based on hand movements.

On Reddit, adults have spent the past year debating the least intrusive age verification methods, as it appears inevitable that adult content will stay locked down, and they dread a future where more and more adult sites might ask for IDs. Additionally, critics have warned that showing an ID magnifies the risk of users publicly exposing their sexual preferences if a data breach or leak occurs.

To avoid that fate, at least one Redditor has attempted to reinvent the earliest age verification method, promoting a resurgence of credit card-based age checks that society discarded as unconstitutional in the early 2000s.

Under those systems, an entire industry of age verification companies emerged, selling passcodes to access adult sites for a supposedly nominal fee. The logic was simple: Only adults could buy credit cards, so only adults could buy passcodes with credit cards.

If “a person buys, for a nominal fee, a randomly generated passcode not connected to them in any way” to access adult sites, one Redditor suggested about three months ago, “there won’t be any way to tie the individual to that passcode.”

“This could satisfy the requirement to keep stuff out of minors’ hands,” the Redditor wrote in a thread asking how any site featuring sexual imagery could hypothetically comply with US laws. “Maybe?”

Several users rushed to educate the Redditor about the history of age checks. Those grasping for purely technology-based solutions today could be propping up the next industry flourishing from flawed laws, they said.

And, of course, since ’90s kids easily ducked those age gates, too, history shows why investing millions to build the latest and greatest age verification systems probably remains a fool’s errand after all these years.

The cringey early history of age checks

The earliest age verification systems were born out of Congress’s “first attempt to outlaw pornography online,” the LA Times reported. That attempt culminated in the Communications Decency Act of 1996.

Although the law was largely overturned a year later, the million-dollar age verification industry was already entrenched, partly due to its intriguing business model. These companies didn’t charge adult sites any fee to add age check systems—which required little technical expertise to implement—and instead shared a big chunk of their revenue with porn sites that opted in. Some sites got 50 percent of revenues, estimated in the millions, simply for adding the functionality.

The age check business was apparently so lucrative that in 2000, one adult site, which was sued for distributing pornographic images of children, pushed fans to buy subscriptions to its preferred service as a way of helping to fund its defense, Wired reported. “Please buy an Adult Check ID, and show your support to fight this injustice!” the site urged users. (The age check service promptly denied any association with the site.)

In a sense, the age check industry incentivized adult sites’ growth, an American Civil Liberties Union attorney told the LA Times in 1999. In turn, that fueled further growth in the age verification industry.

Some services made their link to adult sites obvious, like Porno Press, which charged a one-time fee of $9.95 to access affiliated adult sites, a Congressional filing noted. But many others tried to mask the link, opting for names like PayCom Billing Services, Inc. or CCBill, as Forbes reported, perhaps enticing more customers by drawing less attention on a credit card statement. Other firms had names like Adult Check, Mancheck, and Adult Sights, Wired reported.

Of these firms, the biggest and most successful was Adult Check. At its peak popularity in 2001, the service boasted 4 million customers willing to pay “for the privilege of ogling 400,000 sex sites,” Forbes reported.

At the head of the company was Laith P. Alsarraf, the CEO of the Adult Check service provider Cybernet Ventures.

Alsarraf testified to Congress several times, becoming a go-to expert witness for lawmakers behind the 1998 Child Online Protection Act (COPA). Like the version of the CDA that prompted it, this act was ultimately deemed unconstitutional. And some judges and top law enforcement officers defended Alsarraf’s business model with Adult Check in court—insisting that it didn’t impact adult speech and “at most” posed a “modest burden” that was “outweighed by the government’s compelling interest in shielding minors” from adult content.

But his apparent conflicts of interest also drew criticism. One judge warned in 1999 that “perhaps we do the minors of this country harm if First Amendment protections, which they will with age inherit fully, are chipped away in the name of their protection,” the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) noted.

Summing up the seeming conflict, Ann Beeson, an ACLU lawyer, told the LA Times, “the government wants to shut down porn on the Net. And yet their main witness is this guy who makes his money urging more and more people to access porn on the Net.”

’90s kids dodged Adult Check age gates

Adult Check’s subscription costs varied, but the service predictably got more expensive as its popularity spiked. In 1999, customers could snag a “lifetime membership” for $76.95 or else fork over $30 every two years or $20 annually, the LA Times reported. Those were good deals compared to the significantly higher costs documented in the 2001 Forbes report, which noted a three-month package was available for $20, or users could pay $20 monthly to access supposedly premium content.

Among Adult Check’s customers were apparently some savvy kids who snuck through the cracks in the system. In various threads debating today’s laws, several Redditors have claimed that they used Adult Check as minors in the ’90s, either admitting to stealing a parent’s credit card or sharing age-authenticated passcodes with friends.

“Adult Check? I remember signing up for that in the mid-late 90s,” one commenter wrote in a thread asking if anyone would ever show ID to access porn. “Possibly a minor friend of mine paid for half the fee so he could use it too.”

“Those years were a strange time,” the commenter continued. “We’d go see tech-suspense-horror-thrillers like The Net and Disclosure where the protagonist has to fight to reclaim their lives from cyberantagonists, only to come home to send our personal information along with a credit card payment so we could look at porn.”

“LOL. I remember paying for the lifetime package, thinking I’d use it for decades,” another commenter responded. “Doh…”

Adult Check thrived even without age check laws

Sanderson’s study noted that today, minors’ “first exposure [to adult content] typically occurs between ages 11–13,” which is “substantially earlier than pre-Internet estimates.” Kids seeking out adult content may be in a period of heightened risk-taking or lack self-control, while others may be exposed without ever seeking it out. Some studies suggest that kids who are more likely to seek out adult content could struggle with lower self-esteem, emotional problems, body image concerns, or depressive symptoms. These potential negative associations with adolescent exposure to porn have long been the basis for lawmakers’ fight to keep the content away from kids—and even the biggest publishers today, like Pornhub, agree that it’s a worthy goal.

After parents got wise to ’90s kids dodging age gates, pressure predictably mounted on Adult Check to solve the problem, despite Adult Check consistently admitting that its system wasn’t foolproof. Alsarraf claimed that Adult Check developed “proprietary” technology to detect when kids were using credit cards or when multiple kids were attempting to use the same passcode at the same time from different IP addresses. He also claimed that Adult Check could detect stolen credit cards, bogus card numbers, card numbers “posted on the Internet,” and other fraud.

Meanwhile, the LA Times noted, Cybernet Ventures pulled in an estimated $50 million in 1999, ensuring that the CEO could splurge on a $690,000 house in Pasadena and a $100,000 Hummer. Although Adult Check was believed to be his most profitable venture at that time, Alsarraf told the LA Times that he wasn’t really invested in COPA passing.

“I know Adult Check will flourish,” Alsarraf said, “with or without the law.”

And he was apparently right. By 2001, subscriptions banked an estimated $320 million.

After the CDA and COPA were blocked, “many website owners continue to use Adult Check as a responsible approach to content accessibility,” Alsarraf testified.

While adult sites were likely just in it for the paychecks—which reportedly were dependably delivered—he positioned this ongoing growth as fueled by sites voluntarily turning to Adult Check to protect kids and free speech. “Adult Check allows a free flow of ideas and constitutionally protected speech to course through the Internet without censorship and unreasonable intrusion,” Alsarraf said.

“The Adult Check system is the least restrictive, least intrusive method of restricting access to content that requires minimal cost, and no parental technical expertise and intervention: It does not judge content, does not inhibit free speech, and it does not prevent access to any ideas, word, thoughts, or expressions,” Alsarraf testified.

Britney Spears aided Adult Check’s downfall

Adult Check’s downfall ultimately came in part thanks to Britney Spears, Wired reported in 2002. Spears went from Mickey Mouse Club child star to the “Princess of Pop” at 16 years old with her hit “Baby One More Time” in 1999, the same year that Adult Check rose to prominence.

Today, Spears is well-known for her activism, but in the late 1990s and early 2000s, she was one of the earliest victims of fake online porn.

Spears submitted documents in a lawsuit raised by the publisher of a porn magazine called Perfect 10. The publisher accused Adult Check of enabling the infringement of its content featured on the age check provider’s partner sites, and Spears’ documents helped prove that Adult Check was also linking to “non-existent nude photos,” allegedly in violation of unfair competition laws. The case was an early test of online liability, and Adult Check seemingly learned the hard way that the courts weren’t on its side.

That suit prompted an injunction blocking Adult Check from partnering with sites promoting supposedly illicit photos of “models and celebrities,” which it said was no big deal because it only comprised about 6 percent of its business.

However, after losing the lawsuit in 2004, Adult Check’s reputation took a hit, and it fell out of the pop lexicon. Although Cybernet Ventures continued to exist, Adult Check screening was dropped from sites, as it was no longer considered the gold standard in age verification. Perhaps more importantly, it was no longer required by law.

But although millions validated Adult Check for years, not everybody in the ’90s bought into Adult Check’s claims that it was protecting kids from porn. Some critics said it only provided a veneer of online safety without meaningfully impacting kids. Most of the country—more than 250 million US residents—never subscribed.

“I never used Adult Check,” one Redditor said in a thread pondering whether age gate laws might increase the risks of government surveillance. “My recollection was that it was an untrustworthy scam and unneeded barrier for the theater of legitimacy.”

Alsarraf keeps a lower profile these days and did not respond to Ars’ request to comment.

The rise and fall of Adult Check may have prevented more legally viable age verification systems from gaining traction. The ACLU argued that its popularity trampled the momentum of the “least restrictive” method for age checks available in the ’90s, a system called the Platform for Internet Content Selection (PICS).

Based on rating and filtering technology, PICS allowed content providers or third-party interest groups to create private rating systems so that “individual users can then choose the rating system that best reflects their own values, and any material that offends them will be blocked from their homes.”

However, like all age check systems, PICS was also criticized as being imperfect. Legal scholar Lawrence Lessig called it “the devil” because “it allows censorship at any point on the chain of distribution” of online content.

Although the age verification technology has changed, today’s lawmakers are stuck in the same debate decades later, with no perfect solutions in sight.

SCOTUS to rule on constitutionality of age gate laws

This summer, the Supreme Court will decide whether a Texas law blocking minors’ access to porn is constitutional. The decision could either stunt the momentum or strengthen the backbone of nearly 20 laws in red states across the country seeking to age-gate the Internet.

For privacy advocates opposing the laws, the SCOTUS ruling feels like a sink-or-swim moment for age gates, depending on which way the court swings. And it will come just as blue states like Colorado have recently begun pushing for age gates, too. Meanwhile, other laws increasingly seek to safeguard kids’ privacy and prevent social media addiction by also requiring age checks.

Since the 1990s, the US has debated how to best keep kids away from harmful content without trampling adults’ First Amendment rights. And while cruder credit card-based systems like Adult Check are no longer seen as viable, it’s clear that for lawmakers today, technology is still viewed as both the problem and the solution.

While lawmakers claim that the latest technology makes it easier than ever to access porn, advancements like digital IDs, device-based age checks, or app store age checks seem to signal salvation, making it easier to digitally verify user ages. And some artificial intelligence solutions have likely made lawmakers’ dreams of age-gating the Internet appear even more within reach.

Critics have condemned age gates as unconstitutionally limiting adults’ access to legal speech, at the furthest extreme accusing conservatives of seeking to censor all adult content online or expand government surveillance by tracking people’s sexual identity. (Goldman noted that “Russell Vought, an architect of Project 2025 and President Trump’s Director of the Office of Management and Budget, admitted that he favored age authentication mandates as a ‘back door’ way to censor pornography.”)

Ultimately, SCOTUS could end up deciding if any kind of age gate is ever appropriate. The court could perhaps rule that strict scrutiny, which requires a narrowly tailored solution to serve a compelling government interest, must be applied, potentially ruling out all of lawmakers’ suggested strategies. Or the court could decide that strict scrutiny applies but age checks are narrowly tailored. Or it could go the other way and rule that strict scrutiny does not apply, so all state lawmakers need to show is that their basis for requiring age verification is rationally connected to their interest in blocking minors from adult content.

Age verification remains flawed, experts say

If there’s anything the ’90s can teach lawmakers about age gates, it’s that creating an age verification industry dependent on adult sites will only incentivize the creation of more adult sites that benefit from the new rules. Back then, when age verification systems increased sites’ revenues, compliant sites were rewarded, but in today’s climate, it’s the noncompliant sites that stand to profit by not authenticating ages.

Sanderson’s study noted that Louisiana “was the only state that implemented age verification in a manner that plausibly preserved a user’s anonymity while verifying age,” which is why Pornhub didn’t block the state over its age verification law. But other states that Pornhub blocked passed copycat laws that “tended to be stricter, either requiring uploads of an individual’s government identification,” methods requiring providing other sensitive data, “or even presenting biometric data such as face scanning,” the study noted.

The technology continues evolving as the debate rages on. Some of the most popular platforms and biggest tech companies have been testing new age estimation methods this year. Notably, Discord is testing out face scans in the United Kingdom and Australia, and both Meta and Google are testing technology to supposedly detect kids lying about their ages online.

But a solution has not yet been found as parents and their lawyers circle social media companies they believe are harming their kids. In fact, the unreliability of the tech remains an issue for Meta, which is perhaps the most motivated to find a fix, having long faced immense pressure to improve child safety on its platforms. Earlier this year, Meta had to yank its age detection tool after the “measure didn’t work as well as we’d hoped and inadvertently locked out some parents and guardians who shared devices with their teens,” the company said.

On April 21, Meta announced that it started testing the tech in the US, suggesting the flaws were fixed, but Meta did not directly respond to Ars’ request to comment in more detail on updates.

Two years ago, Ash Johnson, a senior policy manager at the nonpartisan nonprofit think tank the Information Technology and Innovation Foundation (ITIF), urged Congress to “support more research and testing of age verification technology,” saying that the government’s last empirical evaluation was in 2014. She noted then that “the technology is not perfect, and some children will break the rules, eventually slipping through the safeguards,” but that lawmakers need to understand the trade-offs of advocating for different tech solutions or else risk infringing user privacy.

More research is needed, Johnson told Ars, while Sanderson’s study suggested that regulators should also conduct circumvention research or be stuck with laws that have a “limited effectiveness as a standalone policy tool.”

For example, while AI solutions are increasingly more accurate—and in one Facebook survey overwhelmingly more popular with users, Goldman’s analysis noted—the tech still struggles to differentiate between a 17- or 18-year-old, for example.

Like Aylo, ITIF recommends device-based age authentication as the least restrictive method, Johnson told Ars. Perhaps the biggest issue with that option, though, is that kids may have an easy time accessing adult content on devices shared with parents, Goldman noted.

Not sharing Johnson’s optimism, Goldman wrote that “there is no ‘preferred’ or ‘ideal’ way to do online age authentication.” Even a perfect system that accurately authenticates age every time would be flawed, he suggested.

“Rather, they each fall on a spectrum of ‘dangerous in one way’ to ‘dangerous in a different way,'” he wrote, concluding that “every solution has serious privacy, accuracy, or security problems.”

Kids at “grave risk” from uninformed laws

As a “burgeoning” age verification industry swells, Goldman wants to see more earnest efforts from lawmakers to “develop a wider and more thoughtful toolkit of online child safety measures.” They could start, he suggested, by consistently defining minors in laws so it’s clear who is being regulated and what access is being restricted. They could then provide education to parents and minors to help them navigate online harms.

Without such careful consideration, Goldman predicts a dystopian future prompted by age verification laws. If SCOTUS endorses them, users could become so accustomed to age gates that they start entering sensitive information into various web platforms without a second thought. Even the government knows that would be a disaster, Goldman said.

“Governments around the world want people to think twice before sharing sensitive biometric information due to the information’s immutability if stolen,” Goldman wrote. “Mandatory age authentication teaches them the opposite lesson.”

Goldman recommends that lawmakers start seeking an information-based solution to age verification problems rather than depending on tech to save the day.

“Treating the online age authentication challenges as purely technological encourages the unsupportable belief that its problems can be solved if technologists ‘nerd harder,'” Goldman wrote. “This reductionist thinking is a categorical error. Age authentication is fundamentally an information problem, not a technology problem. Technology can help improve information accuracy and quality, but it cannot unilaterally solve information challenges.”

Lawmakers could potentially minimize risks to kids by only verifying age when someone tries to access restricted content or “by compelling age authenticators to minimize their data collection” and “promptly delete any highly sensitive information” collected. That likely wouldn’t stop some vendors from collecting or retaining data anyway, Goldman suggested. But it could be a better standard to protect users of all ages from inevitable data breaches, since we know that “numerous authenticators have suffered major data security failures that put authenticated individuals at grave risk.”

“If the policy goal is to protect minors online because of their potential vulnerability, then forcing minors to constantly decide whether or not to share highly sensitive information with strangers online is a policy failure,” Goldman wrote. “Child safety online needs a whole-of-society response, not a delegate-and-pray approach.”

Photo of Ashley Belanger

Ashley is a senior policy reporter for Ars Technica, dedicated to tracking social impacts of emerging policies and new technologies. She is a Chicago-based journalist with 20 years of experience.

Redditor accidentally reinvents discarded ’90s tool to escape today’s age gates Read More »

dating-roundup-#4:-an-app-for-that

Dating Roundup #4: An App for That

Previously: #1, #2, #3.

As time goes by, the fundamental things in life are still the same, and yet they change quite a lot with the times. But they don’t yet change so fast that the previous three editions of this are invalid. AI isn’t transforming the world that quickly, not yet.

In the meantime, there’s always more to say, and I both find it enjoyable and am hopeful that it might help some of you out there, so here we are once again.

Meanwhile, I am sorry to report that many of you are still sihngle.

I spent sufficiently long between updates and got sufficient material that this one is being split into conceptual sections.

This one will focus in particular on the awfulness that are dating apps, and directly related considerations.

  1. You’re Single Because Dating Apps (Still) Suck.

  2. You’re Single Because Your Friends Are Insufficiently Supportive.

  3. You’re Single Because You Do Not Seek a Mentor for Basic App Skills.

  4. You’re Single Because Other People Lack Very Basic Skills.

  5. You’re Single Because Your Opens Aren’t Effortful.

  6. You’re Single Because Dating Apps Are Out of Balance.

  7. You’re Single Because Look at the Odds.

  8. You’re Single Because You Won’t Even Pay For Super Likes.

  9. You’re Single Because of Dating App Game Theory.

  10. You’re Single Because DateMe Docs Don’t Scale.

  11. You’re Single For Lack of Very Basic Dating Strategy.

  12. You’re Single Because You Have an Android Phone.

  13. You’re Single and I’m Here to Help.

Hinge puts a limit on number of open conversations, Shoshana Weissmann praises the incentive design because it pushes you to unmatch rather than ghost, or unmatch if you are being ghosted. This makes sense. I wonder what the right limit would be? A reader informs me you can also archive the matches, which will dim the impact here.

Bumble apologized for ads it ran saying that celibacy wasn’t the answer. They did penance by donating to the Domestic Violence Hotline and similar organizations. I agree this might not have been the most diplomatic approach. Yet the details of the reaction were bizarre to me. They were accused of ‘undermining daters’ freedom of choice?’ What?

If they won’t say it, I will: With notably rare exceptions, if you are an adult and are not asexual, celibacy is not the answer.

Match says number of paying users on Tinder has dropped for six straight quarters.

The dating app business is… not going well.

It could be high time for a rival that does it better, but one must still solve the matching and coordination problems, and the desire of many of the most desirable users to sit there and swipe. People do not want to pay for good matchmaking, either with money or with actual effort and attention, in this or in other fronts.

You might be having trouble on dating sites, but do not underestimate the value of ‘not being a lunatic’ if you can get past the first few seconds of filter. Or how many people seem determined to fail in those few seconds.

Shoshana Weissmann: Opened my Hinge likes after the hike. Here’s a guy who photoshopped a cartoon orgy around him in the bath.

Yesterday an ENM couple tried to match me and the guy was in a Pikachu costume. I literally say monogamy twice on my profile because nobody respects me about it. Pikachu I don’t choose you.

Rich Braun: I’m a couple decades older than you, but when I was single and on the apps a few years ago I was amazed how many out-of-my-league women were willing to give me a shot.

Your tweets have helped me understand that simply not being a lunatic put me in the top tier.

Rob Henderson warns that at least one popular dating app is known to use ‘seeding’ meaning when a man first signs up you match with bot profiles of hot women who then ghost you, to get you started. That seems like the kind of thing the FTC should be investigating, if it is true, and indeed in the past they have done some investigation, but such claims have mostly not been substantiated.

It also raises the question, would that work? On the one hand, yes, Hot Women Near You and all that. On the other hand, being ghosted sucks even worse than not matching. The hope is presumably that you think it was something you said so it’s your fault.

Business Insider’s alternative suggestion is a government app like in Tokyo, and oh no. Except perhaps being the government solves some trust issues, allowing the site to verify information and thus be a better product?

In Tokyo, the city government is even releasing its own dating app, part of a campaign called Tokyo Futari Story (“futari” means couple). The service, which the city has budgeted several million dollars to develop and promote, will require users to verify their income, prove they’re unmarried, sit for an interview with the app’s staff, and sign a statement saying they’re intent on getting married.

Anyone who would suggest our government should be writing such software really needs to talk to someone such as Patrick McKenzie first, and learn some of the many reasons why we will absolutely be unwilling to attempt to do that. But also the talk about ‘equality’ and ‘eugenics’ should help explain why no one would dare touch it, even in worlds where they would ever try to make any software at all.

Update: Shreeda launches the latest attempt, ‘Offline,’ to reinvent the upside of the old OkCupid. Everyone says they want it, but no one so far has overcome the allure of the easy swipe. Info is here, in particular here. I continue to presume that it is relatively easy to build something ten times better if you can solve the cold start and ‘easier to just swipe’ issues to get enough scale, but that no one has a good idea how to do that part.

One danger of dating apps is that it raises the false implication that one should not date outside of the apps. Of course one should do so when possible, and use the apps only as supplements and last resorts.

Mark Travers (2021): 68 percent of romantic relationships start from friendship…romances where partners start as friends are more likely to be the rule than the exception…On average, friends-first partners were friends for almost 2 years before becoming romantic partners.

Tim Carney: This is important, and I wonder if dating apps have convinced people that one ought not date friends.

There is a list of preferences in the linked post on ways to find relationships, which corresponds to how social and friend-based techniques are, with blind dates and dating apps at the very bottom. Dating apps are a place where you go explicitly to find dates, and some young’uns get convinced that romantic interests should ONLY be pursued in such settings.

Charlie Gowans-Eglinton takes a decade on the apps, becomes disillusioned by the horror shows, sees them now as ‘a way to seem proactive’ rather than a solution to finding someone, as all the men are so terrible and the pickings so slim, due to adverse selection, the need for a thousand bad dates. I still don’t understand how the numbers could fail so utterly to add up? Yes, we hear so many stories like the next two sections about lack of basic skills and generally being terrible, but… if all the good guys were really snapped up quickly then we’d observe a very different world.

Yes, there are obvious downsides.

Jonathan Deer: Would rather not get a gift then someone think I’m down bad enough to get me a tinder gift card #disrespectful #buttless

Pierre Pumpernickel: If somebody gave me this for Christmas I would drive to an Applebees and kill myself in the parking lot.

Alison: That’s beyond calling you bitchless. That’s calling you bitchless, broke, and so bitchless that you need to pay to win.

Brits With Knees: if anyone wants to get me this lmk

This is actually great and super thoughtful gift.

It is something the person needs, but would never ever buy for themselves. This person clearly would never, ever pay, on principle. But I have little doubt the value is there, if only to find out if the value is there.

Brooke suggests that good dating app game is easy to identify when you care about it, so find someone who does to help you learn what to work on, and then try even a little.

Aaron Bergman: I took one good picture with a good haircut, and now I have probably three times the number of Hinge matches. What the heck?

Brooke Bowman: It’s probably worth scrolling through a dating app from the account of a friend who is interested in your gender.

The rarer, nicer photos of men stand out so much.

The vast majority are blurry selfies or just bad photos in general, and they all kind of blend together.

Ram Vasuthevan: Like, look; are they taken professionally?

Brooke Bowman: Some are, yes, but it doesn’t take that much to stand out from the crowd! A nice haircut, decent clothes, and being in focus can help. Ask a friend to take some, or take selfies in different parts of the house to see what the lighting looks like.

Seems like good advice if you’re not getting good initial conversions.

Yes, you should also be paying up, every boost helps, but don’t forget the basics.

It is a weird one, because in a matching market this should go the other way?

Shoshana Weissmann: NY dating apps are an insane place.

Rob Bernard: “I’m a man with physical man needs..” This is either an alien trying to convince us it is human, or it’s Matt Berry’s Laszlo on What We Do in the Shadows.

The Gentleman Sausage: I enjoy long walks in the beach while listening to human music.

Shoshana Weissmann: You’re joking but I saw this yesterday. Online dating is hell.

Coach Crash: You should see what is out there at my age. I understand if you’re a young widow but don’t include pics that look like they’re from the police investigation into his death.

GirlKW77: lol. I just watched a segment on my local news station that was interviewing people who were knowingly having “intimate” relationships with online AI dating bots. Kid you not.

In an interview with a guy who goes on a lot of dates, the most interesting part is he gets there via effort texting and being selective, not via going scattershot.

He only swipes right about three times a day, and ends up on four dates a week, an absurd conversion rate, so yes it can be done. Obviously there’s the mystery of how you get that many right swaps in the first place, but past that this does match my experiences too – if you put in the effort, conversation rates to first dates can actually be remarkably high. If you don’t have a good text game, well, you’re reading giant walls of text or you wouldn’t be here, text should be your friend.

He also has a 70% rate on getting second dates. That’s actually way too high if you’re meeting multiple new people each week, you need to cut your losses when it isn’t a great match. A 70% rate only makes sense if you have ‘first date scarcity,’ if a promising first date is time consuming to get you want to not give up so easily.

In particular, this chart and similar statistics have cool bonus implications.

  1. Men like 53% of the profiles they view.

  2. Yet even so, women only match 36% of the time when they like a man.

  3. Men only match 2% of the time when they like a woman.

  4. Women like 5% of profiles they view according to that chart, but 14% according to Zippia. That’s a huge gap, although the main points hold either way.

A lot of the explanation is that ~75% of Tinder users are men, which is actually a better ratio than many other apps. So even if you never showed a woman a profile of a man who would actively say no to her, about half the male likes never even get seen.

There are also selection effects. The more people want to match with you, the less of them you want to match with in return, because you know you have options. Tinder, like all such apps, does do the first order obvious thing of putting those who already matched with you early into your queue, in addition to attempting to otherwise make predictions including using things like Elo. Despite that, the majority of women’s swipes still fail to get them matched. Which tells me quite a lot of women want to be swiping well beyond the set of people who pre-matched with them.

The symmetry here is remarkable, the way this is worded doesn’t require it at all and this rules out theories that there are guys who sleep with lots of women per year on the first date as they would have skewed the numbers. 5% is rather grim given how many young people start that year single.

Similarly:

Nuance Enjoyer: Moreover, 3/4ths of the gap in the Pew survey was driven by disparities in cohabitation and marriage, leaving little room for the popular ‘de facto polygynous soft harems’ explanation.

Over the course of an entire year, a majority of 18-34 year olds have sex with exactly one opposite-sex person, and a majority of the rest don’t have sex at all.

Unfortunately, sexlessness is going up over time for people in their 20s, by a substantial amount, odd that these two graphs look different.

Also, the linked Vox article reminded me of the ‘super like’ feature, where your like is visible to them while swiping, you show up faster, and the match is instant if they return interest. They have to be purchased.

Costly signals are great, and so super likes reportedly triple your chances. Of course, you also get the reactions that say super likes are cringe or creepy, how dare you actually express real interest, but the statistics say it works, and I’m guessing that there is positive selection in driving away people who dislike clear communication. You probably also do worse on people who think they’re better than everyone, which plausibly includes some people you’d want quite a lot (since they are sometimes in fact better!) but also isn’t a feature I’d want to seek out.

You don’t have to pay $500/month for Tinder Select and go straight to their inbox. But if you’re not paying for a small number of super likes, that seems like a huge mistake, given you can buy in bulk for $1.50 or get them free with your subscription package.

Yes, $75 per additional match might sound steep, but is it for the ones you want most, in a world where matching is rare? If you’re doing reasonably well, it seems basically impossible for it to be worth being on the app at all, and also not being worth super liking when you see someone you do in fact super like.

I’d apply a similar principle to other paid options, for any app you would already be using on a regular basis. If you’re paying your time, you need to also pay your money. The big advantages of paying are the (often under the hood) ways to increase your chances of success.

Thus consider: The average American dating app user spends 51 minutes a day on the apps? What? Note that this is very different from ‘51 minutes swiping’ which would be fully nuts. Whereas if a lot of that time is spent chatting with or thinking about existing matches, that is a lot less insane.

Still, it’s a lot, and I don’t really believe it. But if you’re spending an hour a day and still running the no-pays, you’re making a very serious mistake.

(If you’re spending that hour mostly chatting with matches, why haven’t you moved to regular texting or other messaging apps with most of them yet?)

The other claim is that the apps are increasingly hard to use without paying. I would respond that the users spend 51 minutes a day on them. If you are spending 51 minutes a day, and yet refuse to pay a modest amount of real money, then the problem is you. Your time is valuable. The claim is this is not ‘equitable’ when money is charged, but seriously, what? Of course the post then goes on to call Singapore’s attempt to help college students date ‘eugenic’ so there you have it. How dare they.

This is a clear laying out of the standard argument which is essentially:

  1. Frictionless dating apps create male haves versus have nots.

  2. The men with little female interest don’t get to date or commit at all.

  3. The men with lots of interest have multiple women interested in them and can always find more, so they see no reason to commit.

  4. Thus, you get a bunch of these situationships, where the man won’t commit.

  5. The men who both can get dates and want to commit get snapped up quickly.

  6. Which means the men mostly say ‘why won’t women date us at all?’ and the women mostly say ‘why won’t the men commit to us?’

  7. Even if you’re not on the apps yourself, the incentives are there anyway.

This is largely a Levels of Friction problem, where the selection process has low marginal costs and starts with superficial attributes, which makes it easier to steer towards going after high-value targets and creating divergence.

A great asset of OKCupid was scale. You answered the questions once, created a profile once, and you could check for lots of matches in detail, as could others. Getting that scale back is the key barrier.

Or you could do it without the scale, since that’s what everyone used to do anyway.

The date-me doc does this as one-to-many even if there aren’t that many, but exposes your info and puts the filtering job on them (even if they don’t have to answer a bunch of specific questions).

What about the date-me survey? They have to answer the questions but you have to design and execute all the filters.

Aella: Reminder I have a survey to date me! I’ve found partners via this method before; if you think we might be compatible, feel free to fill it out <3

Kepe: wow, I haven’t seen a single reply supporting her. I’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, this is absolutely an amazing idea and anyone saying it isn’t is exactly who should be filtered out.

One reply warned about a woman influencer and model who rejected all but 3 of 5,000 boyfriend applications after making them fill out a 15 question form. The headline is misleading, she did find three that were suitable and went on dates with them, even though they didn’t work out.

Is that even so bad? I mean, yes, on average that’s 25,000 questions per date with a model influencer you know you’re into. I say that depends on the questions. And lo and behold, we’ve got them.

  1. What’s your astrological sign?

  2. Number of ex-girlfriends, the number that are ‘crazy’, and exes you still text/talk to (drink ones count)

  3. Do you have kids?

  4. Do you want them?

  5. Are you married/dating someone now?

  6. Do you have a full time job?

  7. If you were picking three adjectives to describe yourself would one of them be douchey?

  8. Do you live with your parents?

  9. Do you own a working car?

  10. Do you have Twitter?

  11. Do you currently have a booty call?

  12. If we lived together would I get the walk in closet?

  13. Is it acceptable to hit on my friends?

  14. Do you like watching Avatar (ATLA)?

  15. Who is the best artist: The Weeknd, Future, Drake or Travis Scott?

These are not exactly the hardest questions.

I presume I know the right answers for nine of them, and so do you: #3, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #11, #12 and #13. Mostly that seems entirely fair, especially if the car is a proxy.

That leaves six ‘real’ questions, one of which also has a clear right answer?

Most of the applicants were also based in Texas and had the star sign of Aquarius.

Not a wise filter, in either direction, and expensive with a 92% failure rate, but sure. Five to go.

One of them is the most important question: Do you want kids? We don’t know which answer she wants but you should 100% be asking.

The last two questions are taste questions, you’re allowed two, sure.

Are you supposed to have or not have Twitter? Unknown, I can see it either way.

The final question is about ex-girlfriends, and we can all guess what answers she is looking for here and why this is a reasonable question to ask if you have the leverage.

So why did only 3 of 5,000 applications make it through? That seems like… not a lot, especially given most of them got the astrological sign correct, and if you’re going to fail the gimme questions you can decide not to turn in the survey. This must mean not a lot of men got the gimme questions right, and didn’t understand?

Or alternatively she was looking for at least one very counterintuitive answer.

As in things like: Most dating profiles are insanely boring. Say interesting things.

Similarly, we have other basic principles in the stories below, that anyone should be able to handle: Show up on time. Be able to plan a date. Treat all people like people. Answer questions honestly and be able to handle honest answers. Be actually single and not married. Don’t be weirdly super intense.

That doesn’t mean this is easy, but don’t make life a little tougher than it is.

Perhaps the biggest divide is between three groups:

  1. Those who think that ‘being a decent normal person’ works fine.

  2. Those who feel like they’re being decent normal people and failing.

  3. Those who the first group points to as no being decent normal people.

Jeff: I need some stories about bad dates to cleanse my palate.

Shoshana Weissman: I am messaging a man right now who showed a lot of interest initially, and now he is not responding—acting standoffish. He asked why I don’t drink, out of curiosity, and I explained that it is because I have several autoimmune diseases. I manage fine, but my body does not like alcohol. He basically replied that that was too much information. So, don’t ask? When is the answer to that question ever simple?

Kevin Baum: Tip for single men: You can do remarkably well with online dating if you are remotely normal instead of being like this man.

Christopher Eichhorn: Absolutely correct—I got many replies (and a wife!) on dating apps and was off the market within a couple of weeks of joining. I am not suave or stylish. I do not have “game,” and I have never read pickup artist material. I simply treated women like normal human beings.

T.K.: I feel like any single men just need to follow the examples of good dating experiences and avoid that behavior. Show up on time, be able to plan a date, be able to handle an honest answer to a question you ask, and do not be “kind of” divorced. All simple things.

She also offers us this message log of a man reporting he deserves the flames of hell.

I definitely buy that lots of men, especially on dating apps but also everywhere, are doing quite a lot of shooting themselves in the foot in a ‘why can’t you just be normal and a decent human being’ ways. If you can avoid doing that, it’s a huge edge.

The problem is that this is often a negative selection game, with complex rules. Whatever the basic principle is that you missed, that’s the one that gets put into a story like this, and it’s often not easy to learn which one you are messing up. Debugging is hard, and you don’t have good tools.

And yes, you also need opportunity to ‘treat women like human beings’ in the first place, or the ability to do so won’t do anyone any good.

Here’s yet another viral thread saying Android phones give many women ‘slight ick.

Blaine Anderson (dating couch and matchmaker, responding to another 1m+ view claim that’s even stronger): Dating fun fact: Android gives many women slight ick!

If a woman likes you, Android won’t make her STOP liking you.

But iOS girlies 100% feel pangs of disappointment when your first text is green.

For single men using Android:

This is NOT a recommendation you switch to iOS.

This is just an informed opinion from someone who speaks with single women for a living 😌

Especially if you use Android, and find this thread moronic…

Stick to Android to distance yourself from judgmental iOS women 😂

Don’t kid yourself. That’s a recommendation to switch to iOS.

I use a Pixel 9 Fold, which very much costs more than an iPhone. I think it is a substantially better phone. There is very little financial cost in getting an iPhone these days, most carriers will basically give you one with a contract, and you can get used ones a few years old for very little money if you don’t want Apple Intelligence.

The question is, should you let this matter, or even preference falsify here?

You are combining two effects:

  1. Negative reactions from a large percentage of women. How big is this effect? It is hard to tell. Every little bit helps and this is something you can control. If you are going to want to date in the judgmental-iOS pool, it matters.

  2. Positive selection effects. If she’s looking down on you for not having an iPhone, none of the reasons for this speak well of her – it’s presumably either she has taste you disagree with and thinks your taste is actively bad, she has attachment to a blue bubble or what her friends will think, or she’s thinking you must be poor.

At minimum, the more ick there is here, the worse the sign. Whereas the women who will be vaguely disappointed that you have an iPhone? That’s a great sign.

I might like to think I wouldn’t be one to switch to iPhone simply for the dating advantages despite the selection issue. We spend a lot of time on our phones, the experience matters. But also I know myself, and I know that’s actually kind of dumb.

So yeah, if I was single I’d probably at least try out using an iPhone again.

A young lady who is single has reached out to me, and during our email exchange she asked if perhaps I would be willing to give her a shoutout in the hopes I could help her find someone. I decided to follow the Maxis ‘red card rule’: She was the first person to ask, so the answer was yes (but people I don’t know who ask again would by default get a no so this doesn’t get out of hand). Asking rocks.

So here’s the description she sent me.

About Me: I studied at MIT and started a health company which I sold a few years ago. I don’t need to work-work again, so I’m focused on passion projects related to writing, art, learning languages, executive coaching, volunteering, etc. I love rock climbing, hiking, cycling, cooking, being with friends, babies, and love 🙂 (I have eggs frozen and definitely want kids).

I’ve mostly fallen for/dated mechanical or aerospace engineers who love to be active outside, and are super smart, kind, and passionate about their work.

If you know anyone in their 30s or early 40s who fits that description, I’d love to hear more about them. I live in the Bay Area but am open to moving for the right person and am working on dual EU citizenship. Photo below. Thank you so much!

You can reach out to her at anitsirhc491 at gmail.com. Good luck!

I was planning on including one more, but they’re not ready yet. So they’ll be in #5.

To be explicit: On the SS version of this post you can share your own dating doc, but if you’re going to do it, do it there. And here’s Nadia’s dating survey, she’s in LA.

Discussion about this post

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OnePlus lowers Watch 3 price by $150, promises refunds for early buyers

Things are still uncertain, but OnePlus claims to have made some adjustments to its supply chain so it can offer the Watch 3 at a more palatable price. It’s unlikely that OnePlus could eat the cost of that Chinese tariff on a wearable, so perhaps it found a way to redirect its shipments through another location with lower tariffs.

A company spokesperson confirms the watch is now listed at $349.99 in the US, and it will stay at that price despite any future changes to import tariffs. This is a bit higher than the original $330 price tag, but it’s not bad given the challenging market conditions and OnePlus’ Chinese roots.

“This change reflects our effort to be transparent, responsive, and committed to bringing the OnePlus Watch 3 to the US at a competitive price point, despite the ongoing market conditions,” a OnePlus spokesperson said.

At $500, the OnePlus Watch 3 was hard to justify when devices like the Pixel Watch, itself not exactly a bargain-priced wearable, are available for substantially less. Still, there are probably some OnePlus fans who bit at $500. The company says anyone who paid that price since the watch’s release in early April will get a refund of the difference—keep an eye out for an email from OnePlus support with details.

For anyone who was planning to pick up the Watch 3 and was scared off by the tariff increase, the lower price is available immediately in the OnePlus store.

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In HBO’s The Last of Us, revenge is a dish best served democratically

New episodes of season 2 of The Last of Us are premiering on HBO every Sunday night, and Ars’ Kyle Orland (who’s played the games) and Andrew Cunningham (who hasn’t) will be talking about them here every Monday morning. While these recaps don’t delve into every single plot point of the episode, there are obviously heavy spoilers contained within, so go watch the episode first if you want to go in fresh.

Andrew: And there we are! Our first post-Joel episode of The Last Of Us. It’s not like we’ve never had Joel-light episodes before, but Pedro Pascal’s whole “reluctant uncle” thing is a load-bearing element of several currently airing TV shows and I find myself missing it a LOT.

Kyle: Yeah, I’ve said here in the past how the core Ellie/Joel relationship was key to my enjoyment of the first game. Its absence gently soured me on the second game and is starting to do the same for the second season.

But I was also literally mouth agape during the hospital scene, when Ellie said she had an opportunity to talk to Joel on the porch before he died but passed on it. Anyone who’s played the game knows how central “the porch scene” is to recontextualizing the relationship between these two characters before they are parted forever. I was hoping that we’d still get that scene in a surprise flashback later in the series, but now that seems unlikely at best.

Andrew: (I am not watching that video by the way, I need my brain to stay pure!!)

Kyle: I suppose Ellie could have just been lying to a nosy therapist, but if she wasn’t, and their final conversation has just been retconned out of existence… I don’t know what they were thinking. Then again, if it’s just a head fake to psych out game players, well, bravo, I guess.

Tommy is torn between love for his brother and the welfare of the community he’s helped to build. Credit: HBO

Andrew: Ellie is a known liar, which we know even before Catherine O’Hara, world’s least ethical therapist, declares her to be a lying liar who lies. If the scene is as pivotal as you say, then I’m sure we’ll get it at a time that’s engineered to maximize the gut punch. The re-strung guitar ended up back in her room in the end, didn’t it?

We’re able to skip ahead to Ellie being semi-functional again because of a three-month time jump, showing us a Jackson community that is rebuilding after a period of mourning and cleaning that it didn’t want viewers to spend time on. I am struck by the fact that, despite everything, Jackson gets to be the one “normal” community with baseball and sandwiches and boring town-hall meetings, where every other group of more than 10 people is either a body-mutilation cult or a paramilitary band of psychopaths.

Kyle: We also saw the version of Boston that Ellie grew up in last season, which was kind of halfway between “paramilitary psychopaths” and “normal community.” But I do think the Last of Us fiction in general has a pretty grim view of how humans would react to precarity, which makes Jackson’s uniqueness all the more important as a setting.

We also get our first glimpse into Jackson politics in this episode, which ends up going in quite a different direction to get to the same “Ellie and Dina go out for revenge.” While I appreciate the town hall meeting as a decent narrative explanation of why two young girls are making this revenge trek alone, I feel like the whole sequence was a little too drawn out with sanctimonious philosophizing from all sides.

Even after an apocalypse, city council meetings are a constant. Credit: HBO

Andrew: Yeah the town hall scene was an odd one. Parts of it could have been lifted from Parks & Recreation, particularly the bit where the one guy comes to the “Are We Voting To Pursue Bloody Vengeance” meeting to talk about the finer points of agriculture (he does not have a strong feeling about the bloody vengeance).

Part of it almost felt too much like “our” politics, when Seth (the guy who harassed Ellie and Dina at the dance months ago, but attempted a partially forced apology afterward) stands up and calls everyone snowflakes for even thinking about skipping out on the bloody vengeance (not literally, but that’s the clear subtext). He even invokes a shadowy, non-specific “they” who would be “laughing at us” if the community doesn’t track down and execute Abby. I’ll tell you what, that he is one of two people backing Ellie’s attempted vengeance tour doesn’t make me feel better about what she’s deciding to do here.

Kyle: I will say the line “Nobody votes for angry” rang a bit hollow given our current political moment. Even if their national politics calcified in 2003, I think that doesn’t really work…

Andrew: SO MANY people vote for angry! Or, at least, for emotional. It’s an extremely reliable indicator!

Kyle: Except in Jackson, the last bastion of unemotional, mercy-forward community on either side of the apocalypse!

Andrew: So rather than trying the angry route, Ellie reads a prepared statement where she (again lying, by the way!) claims that her vengeance tour isn’t about vengeance at all and attempts to appeal to the council’s better angels, citing the bonds of community that hold them all together. When this (predictably) fails, Ellie (even more predictably) abandons the community at almost the first possible opportunity, setting out on a single horse with Dina in tow to exact vengeance alone.

Kyle: One thing I did appreciate in this episode is how many times they highlighted that Ellie was ready to just “GO GO GO REVENGE NOW NO WAITING” and even the people that agreed with her were like “Hold up, you at least need to stock up on some better supplies, girl!”

Andrew: Maybe you can sense it leaking through, and it’s not intentional, but I am already finding Ellie’s impulsive snark a bit less endearing without Joel’s taciturn competence there to leaven it.

Kyle: I can, and I can empathize with it. I think Tommy is right, too, in saying that Joel would have moved heaven and earth to save a loved one but not necessarily to get revenge for one that’s already dead. He was pragmatic enough to know when discretion was the better part of valor, and protecting him and his was always the priority. And I’m not sure the town hall “deterrence” arguments would have swayed him.

Look on the bright side, though, at least we get a lost of long, languorous scenes of lush scenery on the ride to Seattle (a scene-setting trait the show borrows well from the movie). I wonder what you made of Dina asking Ellie for a critical assessment of her kissing abilities, especially the extremely doth-protest-too-much “You’re gay, I’m not” bit…

Ellie and Dina conspire. Credit: HBO

Andrew: “You’re gay, I’m not, and those are the only two options! No, I will not be answering any follow-up questions!”

I am not inclined to get too on Dina’s case about that, though. Sexuality is complicated, as is changing or challenging your own perception of yourself. The show doesn’t go into it, but I’ve also got to imagine that in any post-apocalyptic scenario, the vital work of Propagating the Species creates even more societal pressure to participate in heteronormative relationships than already exists in our world.

Ellie, who is only truly happy when she is pissing someone off, is probably more comfortable being “out” in this context than Dina would be.

Kyle: As the episode ends we get a bit of set up for a couple of oncoming threats (or is it just one?): an unseen cult-killing force and a phalanx of heavily armed WLF soldiers that Ellie and Dina seem totally unprepared for. In a video game I’d have no problem believing my super-soldier protagonist character could shoot and kill as many bad guys as the game wants to throw at me. In a more “grounded” TV show, the odds do not seem great.

Andrew: One thread I’m curious to see the show pull at: Ellie attempts to blame “Abby and her crew,” people who left Jackson months ago, for a mass slaying of cult members that had clearly happened just hours ago, an attempt to build Abby up into a monster in her head so it’s easier to kill her when the time comes. We’ll see how well it works!

But yeah, Ellie and Dina and their one horse are not ready for the “Terror Lake Salutes Hannibal Crossing The Alps“-length military parade that the WLF is apparently prepared to throw at them.

Kyle: They’re pretty close to Seattle when they find the dead cultists, so from their perspective I’m not sure blaming Abby and crew for the mass murder is that ridiculous

Andrew: (Girl whose main experience with murder is watching Abby brutally kill her father figure, seeing someone dead on the ground): Getting a lot of Abby vibes from this…

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revisiting-izombie,-10-years-later

Revisiting iZombie, 10 years later


We loved the show’s wicked humor, great characters, and mix of cases-of-the-week with longer narrative arcs.

Zombies never really go out of style, but they were an especially hot commodity on television in the 2010s, spawning the blockbuster series The Walking Dead (2010-2022) as well as quirkier fare like Netflix’s comedy horror, The Santa Clarita Diet (2017-2018). iZombie, a supernatural procedural dramedy that ran for five seasons on the CW, falls into the latter category. It never achieved mega-hit status but nonetheless earned a hugely loyal following drawn to the show’s wicked humor, well-drawn characters, and winning mix of cases-of-the-week and longer narrative arcs.

(Spoilers for all five seasons below.)

The original Vertigo comic series was created by writer Chris Roberson and artist Michael Allred. It featured a zombie in Eugene, Oregon, named Gwen Dylan, who worked as a gravedigger because she needed to consume brains every 30 days to keep her memories and cognitive faculties in working order. Her best friends were a ghost who died in the 1960s and a were-terrier named Scott, nicknamed “Spot,” and together they took on challenges both personal and supernatural (vampires, mummies, etc.).

Created by Rob Thomas and Diane Ruggiero-Wright, the TV series borrowed the rough outlines of the premise but otherwise had very little in common with the comics, although Allred drew the nifty opening credits (set to a cover version of “Stop, I’m Already Dead” by Deadboy & The Elephant Men). The location shifted to Seattle.

An over-achieving young medical student, Liv Moore (get it?)—played to perfection by Rose McIver—decides to attend a boat party on a whim one night. It ends in disaster thanks to a sudden zombie outbreak, resulting from a combination of an energy sports drink (Max Rager) and a tainted batch of a new designer drug called Utopium. Liv jumps into the water to flee the zombies but suffers a scratch and wakes up on a beach in a body bag, craving brains.

Liv is forced to break up with her human fiancé, Major (Robert Buckley), to avoid infecting him and becomes estranged from her best friend and roommate, Peyton (Aly Michalka), hiding her new zombie nature from both. And she ends up working in the medical examiner’s office to ensure she has a steady supply of brains. Soon her boss, Ravi (Rahul Kohli), discovers her secret. Rather than being terrified or trying to kill her, Ravi is fascinated by her unusual condition. He tells Liv he was fired by the CDC for his incessant warnings about the threat of such a virus and vows to find a cure.

The brainy bunch

Med student Liv Moore (Rose McIver) wound up a zombie after attending an ill-fated boat party. The CW

The show’s premise stems from an unusual side effect of eating brains: Liv gets some of the dead person’s memories in flashes (visions) as well as certain personality traits—speaking Romanian, painting, agoraphobia, alcoholism, etc. This gives her critical insights that help Det. Clive Babineaux (Malcolm Goodwin) solve various murders, although for several seasons Clive thinks Liv is psychic rather than a zombie. It’s Ravi who first encourages her to get involved when a kleptomaniac Romanian call girl is killed: “You ate the girl’s temporal lobe; the least you can do is help solve her murder.”

Every show needs a good villain and iZombie found it in Liv’s fellow zombie, Blaine (David Anders)—in fact, Blaine is the one who scratched Liv at the boat party and turned her into a zombie. He was there dealing the tainted Utopium. Zombie Blaine switches to dealing brains, which he naturally acquires through murderous means, creating a loyal (i.e., desperate) customer base by infecting wealthy sorts and turning them into zombies. What makes Blaine so compelling as a villain is that he’s as devilishly charming as he is evil, with some unresolved daddy issues for good measure.

Over the course of five seasons, we fell in love with iZombie‘s colorful collection of characters; relished the way the writers leaned into the rather silly premise and (mostly) made it work; and groaned at the occasional bad pun. (Major’s last name is “Lillywhite”; Blaine’s S1 butcher shop is called Meat Cute; when Ravi and Major take in a stray dog, Ravi names the dog “Minor”; and at one point there is a zombie bar called The Scratching Post.) Admittedly, the show started to lose some momentum in later seasons as subplots and shifting relationships became more complicated. And without question the series finale was disappointing: It felt rushed and unsatisfying, with fewer of the quieter character moments that made its strongest episodes so appealing.

Yet there is still so much to love about iZombie, starting with the brain recipes. Brains are disgusting; Blaine and Liv briefly bond over the metallic taste, gross texture, and how much they miss real food. It doesn’t help that zombies can’t really taste much flavor and thus douse their repasts in eye-watering hot sauces. No wonder Liv is constantly trying to find new ways to make the brains more palatable: stir fry, instant Ramen noodles, mixing the brains in with microwaved pizza rolls, deep fried hush puppy brains, sloppy joes, protein shakes—you name it. Blaine, however, takes things to a gourmet level for his rich zombie customers, creating tantalizing dishes like gnocchi stuffed with medulla oblongata swimming in a fra diavolo sauce.

Good guys, bad guys

“Full-on zombie mode” came in handy sometimes. The CW

The writers didn’t neglect Liv’s love life, which she mistakenly thought was over once she became a zombie. Sure, Liv was always going to end up in a happily-ever-after situation with Major. But count me among those who never thought they really worked as soul mates. (Maybe pre-zombie they did.)

The clear fan favorite love interest was S1’s Lowell Tracey (Bradley James), a British musician who found he could no longer perform live after becoming a zombie—since pre-show adrenalin tended to trigger Full On Zombie Mode. He was Liv’s “first” as a zombie, and while they were superficially very different, they bonded over their shared secret and the resulting emotional isolation. And he bonded with Ravi over their shared hatred of a rival soccer team.

James’ smartly soulful performance won fans’ hearts. We were all rooting for those crazy kids. Alas, Liv soon discovered that his brain supply came from Blaine after she accidentally had a bite of Lowell’s breakfast one morning. In a desperate bid to win back her trust, Lowell agreed to help her take out Blaine; it helped that Liv was currently on Sniper Brain. But when the critical moment came, Liv couldn’t take the shot. She watched through the gun sight as Lowell put his hand over his heart and took on Blaine alone—with fatal consequences, because sensitive artist types really aren’t cut out for fights to the death. Howls of protest echoed in living rooms around the world. RIP Lowell, we barely knew ye.

Lowell never got the chance to become a recurring character, but others were more fortunate. Jessica Harmon’s FBI agent, Dale Brazzio, started out as an antagonist investigating the Meat Cute murders—Major and a zombie police captain blew it up to take out Blaine’s criminal enterprise—and ended up as Clive’s romantic partner. Bryce Hodgson’s comedic S1 turn as Major’s roommate in the mental institution, Scott E., was so memorable that the writers brought the actor back to play twin brother Don E., part of Blaine’s drug (and brain) dealing enterprise. Others never graduated to recurring roles but still made the odd guest appearance: Daran Norris as the charmingly louche weatherman Johnny Frost, for instance, and Ryan Beil as nebbishy police sketch artist Jimmy Hahn.

You are what you eat

Liv on frat-boy brain crushed it at beer pong. The CW

And let’s not forget the various Big Bads, most notably S2’s Vaughan du Clark (Steven Weber), amoral playboy CEO of Max Rager, and his conniving temptress daughter, Rita (Leanne Lapp). They provided all manner of delicious devilry before meeting a fitting end: Rita, now a zombie due to Vaughan’s negligence, goes “full Romero” during the S2 finale and eats daddy’s brains in an elevator before being shot in the head.

Perhaps the best thing about iZombie was how much fun the writers had giving Liv so many different kinds of brains to eat—and how much fun McIver had weaving those very different personalities into her performance. There was the rich shopaholic Desperate Housewife; an amorous painter; a sociopathic hitman who was a whiz at pub trivia; a grumpy old man; a schizophrenic; a kids’ basketball coach; a magician; a dominatrix; a medieval history professor fond of LARP-ing; and a ballroom dancer, to name a few.

Liv on agoraphobic hacker brain dominates an online gaming campaign, while she becomes an ace dungeon master on Dungeons & Dragons brain, much to nerdcore Ravi’s delight—although perhaps not as much as he enjoys Liv on vigilante superhero brain. (He found Liv on PhD scientist brain more annoying.) And sometimes the brains are used for throwaway humor: Lowell accidentally eating a gay man’s brain just before his first date with Liv, for instance, or Liv, Blaine, and Don E. hopped up on conspiracy theory brain and bonding over their shared paranoid delusions.

If I were forced to pick my favorite brain, however, I’d probably go back to the S1 episode, “Flight of the Living Dead,” in which Liv’s adventurous former sorority sister, Holly (Tasya Teles), dies in a skydiving “accident” that turns out to be murder. Back in the day, Liv was among those who voted to kick Holly out of the sorority for her constant rule-breaking and reckless behavior. But after eating Holly’s brain in hopes of finding out who killed her, Liv learns more about where Holly was coming from and how to bring something of Holly’s insatiable lust for life into her own existence. “Live each day as if it were your last” can’t help but strike a chord with Liv, who took her former ambitious, over-achieving life for granted before that fateful boat party.

Photo of Jennifer Ouellette

Jennifer is a senior writer at Ars Technica with a particular focus on where science meets culture, covering everything from physics and related interdisciplinary topics to her favorite films and TV series. Jennifer lives in Baltimore with her spouse, physicist Sean M. Carroll, and their two cats, Ariel and Caliban.

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